In this country all women dread the day the cervical smear test comes around again.
Legs apart, something cold and unpleasant shoved up your vagina, and the nurse trying to get you out of their as quick as possible... (not that that is a bad thing).
Cold, sterile, and somewhat scary.
I often thank the Goddess though, that I came to have my first smear after losing my virginity...
I wonder how many girls have had their cherry popped by the smear machine?
The NHS says they can decide not to do it... but how many women do it anyway, out of fear?
The whole thing is barbaric.
Last time I had it done, I promised my beautiful yoni that it would be the last time I put her through that.
But I lied, because the result came back that I have the HPV virus and I needed a colposcopy.
So, back to the hospital I go, and this time I have to cough while they pinch my cervix to get some cells off for further testing.
I feel very strange, I feel light headed, and there is some bleeding for a while after.
My poor yoni, what have I done? She didn't deserve that rough treatment... and I promise that it will be the last time!!
They tell me at the hospital that HPV is a sexually transmitted disease that most women have at some point in their lives, and usually the immune system clears it up by itself...
(in other words if I hadn't had the smear test I never would have known, the virus would have cleared up, and I would have saved myself and my yoni all the pain and effort.)
... and the doctor tells me there is nothing I can do to get rid of it, except boost my immune system.
The colposcopy was apparently necessary to work out whether any of the cervical cells are cancerous, as the virus causes cervical cancer. I have since found out that while most cervical cancer is caused by the HPV virus, a very low percentage of women with the virus develop cancer. In other words, get rid of the virus and you're fine!
I do some research and discover that girls are now being vaccinated against the HPV virus (remembering that the virus is very common and can be cured with a healthy immune system)... and oh so much I can say about this... but I will let this video do it for me:
This video comes from this website The Truth About Cancer, and I recommend you read this article. Please get informed about this and seriously consider whether it is worth you or whichever young lady is in your life going through this.
OK, so, so far I have had the smear test, telling me I have HPV virus, which I can cure myself.
I have the colposcopy, and wait for a letter telling me whether I have cancerous cells or not.
I get a letter back telling me the cells are not cancerous and I breathe a sigh of relief.
End of story, right? Wrong...
The letter also tells me I have CIN (Cervical intra-epithelial neoplasia), which means there are slight changes in the cells, not cancerous, but could be if left untreated. So I need another treatment to remove the abnormal cells.
My blood runs cold... and fear creeps in. But why am I scared, when I have just been told I don't have cancer?
I am scared because someone is telling me there is something wrong with me, something that doctors need to fix, something that I can't cure myself... this is how the coldness of the letter made me feel.
The letter says nothing about what CIN is, or the treatment, so I go on the MacMillan website.
It says that CIN is a pre-cancerous condition, that shows some changes in squamous cells. I had to look up the word ''squamous'', it means thin, flattened cells.
This is the most common treatment they describe for CIN 2 and 3 (CIN 1 needs no treatment, at this point I am not sure which one I have and which treatments the doctor will prescribe.)
''Large loop excision of the transformation zone (LLETZ) is the most commonly used treatment... Once you’re in a comfortable position, the colposcopist will put some local anaesthetic into your cervix to numb it. The colposcope helps them to see a magnified image of your cervix. They remove the abnormal tissue using a thin wire loop. The loop is heated with an electric current, which cuts and seals the tissue at the same time. This shouldn’t cause any pain although you may feel some pressure inside your cervix.'' http://www.macmillan.org.uk/information-and-support/diagnosing/how-cancers-are-diagnosed/cervical-screening/treating-cin.html#3808
Any after affects? A burning sensation, period type pain, and light bleeding for possibly 4 weeks.
And then I read this: ''...towards the end of a pregnancy, when the baby is bigger, the weakened cervix may start to open early causing a premature birth. To stop this happening, a stitch may be put into the remaining part of the cervix during pregnancy.''
Comfortable position? Anaesthetic? Loop with a heated electric current? Light bleeding? Weakened cervix causing premature birth?
Can we please remember, at this point, that I DON'T HAVE CANCER!!!
The cells aren't cancerous, so why, why, why, would they want to do that to me??
I don't know that this is the treatment they would prescribe, but I just had visions of me going to the appointment and them telling me I have to have that done, and me running away.
I am scared that I might get cancer, I am scared of the treatment, and my yoni is now screaming at me no! no! no!
So I begin talking to people...
- First of all my friend, who tells me ''this is the whole point, they just want you to be scared, it keeps the system going and the money flowing.''
- Then to my parents, who say, ''don't do it!'', and to watch The Truth About Cancer documentary. (I have watched it and highly recommend everyone does the same, they are all on Youtube and are absolutely excellent. This is the first one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqJAzQe7_0g)
- Another friend informs me that these abnormal cells are actually quite normal, happens all the time all over the body, and they usually correct themselves if the immune system is functioning properly.
Again, if I hadn't had the test, I wouldn't know anything about it, it would have cleared up by itself, saving me and my yoni all the pain, effort, and fear.
Taking all this into consideration I cancelled the appointment.
Instead, I have taken these steps to cure myself of CIN and HPV:
- I eat a diet that balances my hormones, as laid out in the book WomanCode by Alisa Vitti. (Actually I already started this before all the test results, so I knew I was curing myself already.) An article about this book is coming soon, but for now, especially for women, I highly recommend you read it!
- I do yoga every morning for half an hour. I don't need to bang on about the benefits of yoga, there is plenty on the internet for you to read.
- I Fast Track my immune system every now and then, to clear any blockages or problems. Read about Fast Track HERE.
- Every day I make my mum and dad's immune system booster drink, the recipe for which is HERE.
- I have watched some of the Truth About Cancer documentaries (link above), and am no longer scared of it. I am convinced that most cancer gets worse as its discovered, because the person gets scared and therefore it self-perpetuates the problem. Get informed about the realities of cancer, and that fear will disappear!
But the biggest thing I do is simply to believe in myself; listen to my own feeling and my own body; talk to my friends and family; and trust the universe is leading me in the right direction.
Thanks for reading