Love and Sex
When we look at the world today, the single most confusing thing in has to be:
SEX.
Taught barely anything as children except sperm + egg = child or WEAR A CONDOM: many of us have completely lost touch with our emotions and passions when it comes to sex. This lack of education causes children to grow up thinking all kinds of strange things about sex.
It caused me to be labelled a 'slut' by other kids at school before I'd even had sex, it caused me to never talk about it with family, it caused me to still be confused about it now, aged 30.
The two books I have read in my life that have influenced me (and gave me huge mind-shifts) the most are very contradictory about sex.
~~ In Anastasia: The Ringing Cedars of Russia the protagonist, Vladimir, creates a child with the woman of the wilderness, Anastasia, in an extremely high, spiritual experience. Upon reading this I was filled with the desire to procreate in this way. After the act Anastasia basically tells him that sex in lust is a sin, and that he'll never want to do it again: ''It's an illusion, these pleasures, Vladimir. I helped you rid yourself of this terrible, pernicious, and sinful impulse.''
~~ Whereas in Conversations with God 2, I quote: ''procreation is the happy afterthought, of the most human sexual experience. The idea that sex is only to make babies is naive...''
Some countries I have visited tell their daughters to beware of men, and not to have sex before marriage. Other daughters are sold into marriage at an extremely young age. While in many Western countries parents think its okay to give their daughters the freedom to have sex with whoever they want, causing huge numbers of teenage pregnancy. In any of these cases, what exactly is ''right or wrong?'' and where on earth does LOVE come into all this??
The media doesn't help, I think somehow caused by some weird resonance left over from the Victorian mindset where women should ''lay back and think of England'', where girly magazines tell young ladies the ''top 10 ways to please your man'', or some other catastrophe.
With so many mixed messages about sex, through these and many other influences, I find it extremely difficult to FEEL MYSELF and find my own truth in what I believe and want for my own sexual life. The other day I had an encounter with someone who thought it okay to try to come onto me. I got this huge feeling of disgust welling up inside me, quite a new sensation, as I have been quite used to these sort of encounters. And I don't think it had much to do with the guy himself. He said ''it's okay, I didn't think we had much chemistry anyway.'' I felt like screaming ''F**K CHEMISTRY! I WANT SOMETHING REAL!'' So maybe this is the phase of my life I am moving into... who knows where it will lead.
I believe that you attract into your life things and people that are vibrating at the same frequency as you. I am confused about sex, and clearly attracted a guy the other day who is equally confused. I am going to put all my focus now into loving myself wholly and completely, and understanding my own sexuality... that is the only way I will attract someone who loves me wholly and completely, and understands my sexuality.
Make sense? Who knows? I'll let you know how it goes...
(PS apologies to any family reading these blog posts, but I promised myself when writing this website that I would be completely raw and honest. So be warned: I am going to be completely raw and honest!)
SEX.
Taught barely anything as children except sperm + egg = child or WEAR A CONDOM: many of us have completely lost touch with our emotions and passions when it comes to sex. This lack of education causes children to grow up thinking all kinds of strange things about sex.
It caused me to be labelled a 'slut' by other kids at school before I'd even had sex, it caused me to never talk about it with family, it caused me to still be confused about it now, aged 30.
The two books I have read in my life that have influenced me (and gave me huge mind-shifts) the most are very contradictory about sex.
~~ In Anastasia: The Ringing Cedars of Russia the protagonist, Vladimir, creates a child with the woman of the wilderness, Anastasia, in an extremely high, spiritual experience. Upon reading this I was filled with the desire to procreate in this way. After the act Anastasia basically tells him that sex in lust is a sin, and that he'll never want to do it again: ''It's an illusion, these pleasures, Vladimir. I helped you rid yourself of this terrible, pernicious, and sinful impulse.''
~~ Whereas in Conversations with God 2, I quote: ''procreation is the happy afterthought, of the most human sexual experience. The idea that sex is only to make babies is naive...''
Some countries I have visited tell their daughters to beware of men, and not to have sex before marriage. Other daughters are sold into marriage at an extremely young age. While in many Western countries parents think its okay to give their daughters the freedom to have sex with whoever they want, causing huge numbers of teenage pregnancy. In any of these cases, what exactly is ''right or wrong?'' and where on earth does LOVE come into all this??
The media doesn't help, I think somehow caused by some weird resonance left over from the Victorian mindset where women should ''lay back and think of England'', where girly magazines tell young ladies the ''top 10 ways to please your man'', or some other catastrophe.
With so many mixed messages about sex, through these and many other influences, I find it extremely difficult to FEEL MYSELF and find my own truth in what I believe and want for my own sexual life. The other day I had an encounter with someone who thought it okay to try to come onto me. I got this huge feeling of disgust welling up inside me, quite a new sensation, as I have been quite used to these sort of encounters. And I don't think it had much to do with the guy himself. He said ''it's okay, I didn't think we had much chemistry anyway.'' I felt like screaming ''F**K CHEMISTRY! I WANT SOMETHING REAL!'' So maybe this is the phase of my life I am moving into... who knows where it will lead.
I believe that you attract into your life things and people that are vibrating at the same frequency as you. I am confused about sex, and clearly attracted a guy the other day who is equally confused. I am going to put all my focus now into loving myself wholly and completely, and understanding my own sexuality... that is the only way I will attract someone who loves me wholly and completely, and understands my sexuality.
Make sense? Who knows? I'll let you know how it goes...
(PS apologies to any family reading these blog posts, but I promised myself when writing this website that I would be completely raw and honest. So be warned: I am going to be completely raw and honest!)
A Woman's Words
By Amy Lou Martin
live. travel. feel. create.