Travels in the Ancient Land
People often ask me what my favourite country is. I will usually reply ‘Egypt’. Half my bachelor’s degree was in Egyptology, so it is the histories and the mysteries that attract me to the land. When I am there I feel at home. But the truth is I have a sort of love-hate relationship with Egypt. All I am about to tell you is memories… I haven’t been since 2010- the ‘problems’ started in early 2011.
The first two times I visited was when I was studying at University of Wales, Swansea. I volunteered in the museum there ‘The Egypt Centre’ a couple of times a week. |
We would take the school children around the museum and do activities with them. Identify the mummified animal. Play the ancient game of ‘senet’. Make a clay offering table. So it was with the friends I made there that I first visited the place we were all learning about.
It was great for me because most of those I went with had already been a few times, knew their way around, knew the best places to visit. And most importantly- knew how to handle the people. Unfortunately even with these Egypt gurus to guide me, I still had moments of frustration with people following me down the street offering a snake statue or a felucca sail; moments of annoyance with taxi drivers who ripped me off; and moments of embarrassment, such as a man casually walking down the street, his wife beside him, his child in his arms, glaring at me and calling me ‘chicken legs.’ I found out later that this meant ‘prostitute.’
It was great for me because most of those I went with had already been a few times, knew their way around, knew the best places to visit. And most importantly- knew how to handle the people. Unfortunately even with these Egypt gurus to guide me, I still had moments of frustration with people following me down the street offering a snake statue or a felucca sail; moments of annoyance with taxi drivers who ripped me off; and moments of embarrassment, such as a man casually walking down the street, his wife beside him, his child in his arms, glaring at me and calling me ‘chicken legs.’ I found out later that this meant ‘prostitute.’
Most of the everyday annoyances I learned to get over. I now know how much a taxi should cost, and that the phrase (phonetically- it might help you one day) ‘ma fish fell-loose’ will get most annoying salesmen to go away. It means ‘I don’t have any money.’ They will either look at you full of disappointment or wander off laughing. But it is the last in the list- the embarrassment of someone actually calling me a prostitute, and in front of his family, that stuck with me. Needless to say after that I quickly started to dress more modestly (not that I was immodest anyway). But it doesn’t stop the staring at your
|
white skin, or the ‘how many camels?’ comment you receive if walking around with a man. (One time we were five girls walking around with our gay friend, and he got lots of happy claps on the back ‘’five wives, lucky man!’’)
None of this I am telling you is particularly new information- most reading this will have heard similar stories from other people, about Egypt or other Muslim countries. And I should point out that in Egypt I NEVER – I repeat I NEVER, not once felt in danger or unsafe. The Egyptians love their tourists mostly for their money and would not harm them. Taxi drivers rip you off in almost every country in the world if they can get away with it. The people that hassle you are simply trying to make a living, and those that make gender-based comments simply don’t know any better. Remembering all this helped me to become more comfortable in a difficult country.
None of this I am telling you is particularly new information- most reading this will have heard similar stories from other people, about Egypt or other Muslim countries. And I should point out that in Egypt I NEVER – I repeat I NEVER, not once felt in danger or unsafe. The Egyptians love their tourists mostly for their money and would not harm them. Taxi drivers rip you off in almost every country in the world if they can get away with it. The people that hassle you are simply trying to make a living, and those that make gender-based comments simply don’t know any better. Remembering all this helped me to become more comfortable in a difficult country.
So the third time I went to Egypt, it was just me and my friend Alice, just two girls. We went for a month to Luxor and worked for the charity Sunshine (I am going to do a write up about this charity in the section ‘Causes’). I wanted to see if I could make an Egyptian friend- male or female- something which as yet had eluded me. I wanted to see if I could speak to a woman, again the previous two times it was pretty much an impossibility. And I wanted to know what the hell the issue was with Western women??
I guess it is unfair to think that it is ALL men who react the same. Those who work in hotels are completely used to foreign women. The first hotel we stayed in was run by a Columbian woman and her Egyptian husband, they |
were both lovely and very helpful. In the second hotel I thought I was making progress in making a friend- the owner of the place was joyful, open and chatty, and even offered me a job in his travel company. A few days later I decided to ask him more about this job and he replied ‘Yes I’ll give you a job, or you could marry me?’ Hopes dashed in an instant!
And with the women it is difficult too- not least because they are less well educated and so speak less English (yes I am aware this is my fault as much as theirs for not speaking Arabic.) The easiest way to communicate is of course through children. So I cooed and waved at as many babies as I could find, and at least received smiles and nods back. Not much else though. The only woman we really spoke to was the teacher at Sunshine. But while we saw her every day at the school, I still feel that I could not call her a friend.
And with the women it is difficult too- not least because they are less well educated and so speak less English (yes I am aware this is my fault as much as theirs for not speaking Arabic.) The easiest way to communicate is of course through children. So I cooed and waved at as many babies as I could find, and at least received smiles and nods back. Not much else though. The only woman we really spoke to was the teacher at Sunshine. But while we saw her every day at the school, I still feel that I could not call her a friend.
So I can say I pretty much failed in my quest to find a real Egyptian friend in Luxor. So what exactly is the problem with how people see Western women? I think it is simply our freedom. We can travel on our own, wear what we want, we do not have to be married to have a good life. (By the way I have never done the trick where you wear the wedding ring and have a random photo in your wallet of your ‘husband’. I have never felt the need for the deception, although I understand why some ladies feel more comfortable with this.) So Egyptian males and females see this ‘freedom’ on TV and other media, and assume all women are ‘loose.’ So males have no respect for any of us, and women are worried about these ‘loose’ women stealing their men.
|
But is this really all there is to it? I will now tell you a story. While we were in Egypt my friend was sick and we had to call some doctors to the hotel. Now these guys were obviously happy to help out two young damsels in distress. And so follows a random adventure where we had no idea what was happening as we were taken on a boat ride to an island where we drank lemonade and got eaten by mosquitos. We ended up at their surgery/ house, standing on the roof watching a man in the house opposite illegally selling alcohol to locals from a small window at the back of his house. One of the more interesting days of my life.
Anyway, the good thing was that these doctors were educated, spoke excellent English, and told us a fascinating story about some people I had pretty much overlooked in Egypt. The story of some older Western women- usually British and German- come to Egypt to find an ‘Egyptian husband.’ The women are usually in their 50-60s or even older, and the ‘husbands’ in questions are usually 20s and 30s. So the women get a lovely young man to satisfy their sexual appetite, and the men get an older rich woman to look after them. There is actually a website and people in Egypt who will set up these pairings.
|
I had seen these couples before, awkwardly sat in restaurants not really speaking each-others language, the mediator sat with them. I knew this happened but with the doctors was a unique opportunity to meet someone who knew the ins and outs of it (literally!). They told us they often treat the older women for cystitis, so they have to tell them not to have sex for a month. Meanwhile their husbands are there speaking in Arabic saying ‘say 3 months- or 4!’
It is legal for Egyptian men to have more than one wife. So quite often the men will have an Egyptian family too- and their wives will encourage them to marry the rich Western woman so they will have more money. I have seen some of these ladies houses- big white monstrosities built right next to the tiny houses of the West Bank villages. When you have this right on your doorstep is it any wonder you have a slightly skewed vision of Western women?
Anyway, my research on this matter will hopefully continue in the near future- I miss the country like crazy. So I’ll keep you posted. |