The Journey So Far.....
I have been in Chiang Mai, Thailand, for two months now, and would like to have the chance to explain the journey I have been on. And it’s nowhere near over yet! Each week has brought up something new and interesting for me, and it literally seems to go in week-long episodes.
In between these stories are a million other things I can tell you about: dance meditations, yoga practices, Thai language exchanges, walks in nature, salsa dancing, energy healings, little interactions with people I meet, loving and fearing and healing. I have found a bicycle, found friends, found love, found music, found a passion in writing, found so many things. But these snippets I will share with you now, will perhaps show you the most significant things I have found. Not all of it’s pretty, but here it is, from the moment I arrived in Chiang Mai on Saturday 12th September, til now. Each week begins on a Saturday, and ends on a Friday. I have decided to use people’s initials for their names, because with Facebook around, I don’t know, some people may want to be kept anonymous. |
Week 1: Landing
I arrived in Chiang Mai, and immediately my priority became finding somewhere to live. After whole day of searching I returned to my hostel to find a group of people sat around chatting about wanting to live in Chiang Mai. Next thing you know our landlady, the lovely L, is saying that she has a house for rent in the old. Myself and two of the girls want to take a look, so we arrange to go in the morning. These two girls I knew straight away are wonderful people, and there are 3 bedrooms in the house so it's perfect. My lovely housemates were K from Germany and Z from New Zealand. We arrived in the morning and all fell completely in love with the place. Up the stairs is a sitting room/ veranda, there’s a kitchen with everything including a hob (a rarity in Thailand!) and two toilet/ shower rooms between us. All made of wood and bamboo it has an incredible feel to it. The house is spacious and light, and the best part is the view of the mountain, behind which the sun sets. |
It is right in the centre of the city but feels like it’s in the countryside: a cockerel one side wakes me up at 4am every morning; the other side has many banana plants; and opposite is a stunning wooden stilt house, in a vegetable and fruit garden. It’s tranquillity itself.
This house, since then, has been my sanctuary when I have been sick or not wanting to go to the outside world. My home filled with love and light, and good people. Friends have come and go (I now live with P and whichever backpacker wants the other room), but this place has remained my constant. I believe I could not have landed properly in Chiang Mai without this space to chill and work and heal and grow.
I am grateful for it every second I am here.
This house, since then, has been my sanctuary when I have been sick or not wanting to go to the outside world. My home filled with love and light, and good people. Friends have come and go (I now live with P and whichever backpacker wants the other room), but this place has remained my constant. I believe I could not have landed properly in Chiang Mai without this space to chill and work and heal and grow.
I am grateful for it every second I am here.
Week 2: Coming Home
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The third thing that happened this week: T came home. I may have mentioned him to some of you before, but I didn’t mention that he was already in a relationship when we began ours. We were attempting an open relationship. You don’t need to know all the details, suffice it to say that T and I were going along happily blissful in these moments. But it quickly became clear to me, once we were all actually in the same city, that it just wasn’t going to work. Too many negative emotions from his girlfriend, which made me feel guilty, while not feeling like I had done anything to deserve that, but simply opened my heart to love someone. We were always open and honest and communicative with each other, but in the end it just wasn’t enough. This week was the start of that: it went on for several weeks.
I was sick a lot this week.
I was sick a lot this week.
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Well, the first thing that happened this week (on Saturday) was the car crash. I had met my friend A and her friend S (who, it turns out, knew my brother from Pai). A was having a party at her place, a little outside of Chiang Mai in the countryside. She picked me up from Promenada Mall, and 10 minutes later we were in a three car collision (it’s not an accident as that would imply no one did anything wrong!), luckily no one was seriously injured. We were at the side of the road for 2 hours sorting it out, and then A’s husband and friend came to pick us up. A’s house is beautiful, and the land and lakes around it stunning. It felt so good to be in the countryside, and we had a wonderful party. |
A had unfortunately injured her hand in the crash, and (a separate injury but exacerbated by the crash) had a bad eye. The hand would heal, but the eye needed injections in it every day for four days, or there was a chance she would lose her sight. (Now she has fully recovered so all is well again!) A has two boys and her husband was away with work, so I offered to come and stay with her for the week.
I spent Tuesday to Friday with her, helping to clean, cook, look after the boys and take them swimming, and keeping A company. In this idyllic countryside house, it was a perfect way to spend the week slowing down. I realised that since arriving in Chiang Mai, all I have done is rush around. I berate myself ‘why haven’t I found charity work yet?’ ‘Why haven’t I found something so I can earn enough money?’ ‘Why this, why that?’
I decided to give myself a break: I am only on week 3! I believe I will not find what I am looking for if I am constantly on the search for it. My traveller- tour leader- perfectionist mentality had been out in full force, and the message was loud and clear: SLOW DOWN!!
It took a car crash to show me that.
I spent Tuesday to Friday with her, helping to clean, cook, look after the boys and take them swimming, and keeping A company. In this idyllic countryside house, it was a perfect way to spend the week slowing down. I realised that since arriving in Chiang Mai, all I have done is rush around. I berate myself ‘why haven’t I found charity work yet?’ ‘Why haven’t I found something so I can earn enough money?’ ‘Why this, why that?’
I decided to give myself a break: I am only on week 3! I believe I will not find what I am looking for if I am constantly on the search for it. My traveller- tour leader- perfectionist mentality had been out in full force, and the message was loud and clear: SLOW DOWN!!
It took a car crash to show me that.
Week 4: Connecting
Saturday was the day I had a big huge conversation with T and really cleared a lot of things up about this thing we started, which I knew needed to end. I already mentioned this, so need say no more. This week I decided to spend as much time as possible meeting people and connecting to them. How else will I find what I want? So I frequented cafes, salsa classes, couchsurfing volunteer meetings and meeting people for dinner. I reconnected with my friends A, who I met in February, and Y, who I met in May. This week two new housemates moved in: P and D. I also did a lot of work on Fiverr. My work is really increasing. I have earned quite a bit of money from writing articles about charity and travel, but still not quite enough to sustain myself here. I have done a lot of energy clearing about money, wealth and abundance to shift the negativity surrounding money and to allow it to flow into my life. Keep it coming! |
Week 5: Relaxing and Sleeping
Saturday was the party at A’s house, outside Chiang Mai. Her son turned 10 years old. A great party, yet somehow I managed to get back home by 10pm and have a good night’s sleep! But it felt good to see A more relaxed and enjoying herself, her eye on the mend, and her mother visiting and helping her. My housemate D has a projector and brought a white sheet, so we spent a lot of time, pretty much every evening, watching movies on our home made cinema! Except Monday night, when we went to Tea Tree café and watched the Nicholas Cage movie ‘Adaptation’. |
There were two days this week when it was actually cold! You know that ‘I don’t want to go to school’ feeling when you wake up in the morning? Someone said to me that it feels like Christmas! So I feel like I really didn’t do too much, except when I went to the vegetarian society with P, where all the monks go to eat the cheap/ free and tasty food; went to the language exchange group for the first time; and I wrote a lot.
Friday I hiked up Doi Suthep mountain, so amazingly good to get some fresh air and exercise! The temple half way up is an incredibly peaceful place, and I spent ages there. (The photo was taken at this temple). I didn’t spend so much time in the big tourist temple at the top, but came home pretty quickly and slept a lot.
Friday I hiked up Doi Suthep mountain, so amazingly good to get some fresh air and exercise! The temple half way up is an incredibly peaceful place, and I spent ages there. (The photo was taken at this temple). I didn’t spend so much time in the big tourist temple at the top, but came home pretty quickly and slept a lot.
Week 6: Manifesting
I was talking on Skype to my friend C, about the situation with T. She said to me: ‘why do you always attract guys who just aren’t available, or aren’t that into you?’ Hmm… good question. Saturday morning I got up and purposefully set the intention, with the help of my crystals, incense and candles, to find a guy, today, who actually wants to be with me, and will be happy to give me his time. That afternoon I went to a pool party, with my friend Y and her friend O, who is from Israel. Her friend O turned out to be that guy. I couldn’t believe how quickly I found exactly what I asked for: attentive, loving, gave me his time although he was only here for 3 days, just fun and easy. I know this was only a short thing, but it gave me a glimpse of what I REALLY want from my life partner, whenever I may find him. Saying goodbye to O was an awesome moment for me: for the first time I said goodbye to a guy with no regrets, no sadness, no worries and no thought of the future. There was no ‘what if?’ I was so grateful for every second I spent with him, for every minute he gave me, and for every moment we shared. I decided that I will live this way for the rest of my life, that I will practice this feeling, so I can feel it right before I die. |
Then all sorts of other things started ‘manifesting’: the backpack that O left for me, even though he didn’t know mine was broken; the work I got from a client, who wants me to do Skype interviews with NGO photographers around the world, and write them up for his website (so far I have spoken to NGO photographers in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Kenya and India- fascinating!); and the woman who walked up to me and offered me the exact same massage I had been wanting since I arrived, but I had thought it too expensive. She had just finished training to do abdominal massages, so gave me it for free!
What I learned this week: ask for what you want, and you will get it!
What I learned this week: ask for what you want, and you will get it!
Week 7: Just Keep Going This continued to Saturday, when I spent the whole day relaxing by myself at a waterfall, and then thought ‘I want to go dancing’. I got home and my original housemate Z and our friend J were at my house, and they asked me if I want to go dancing tonight! We had an incredible dance and released a lot of tensions. I love Z, she makes me feel so good when I am with her. |
I finished my work with money, wealth and abundance this week. My outlook on this subject has changed so much, I truly believe that stress over money is a normal part of growing as a human being, but that we can transcend from it. It is so simple: be grateful for what you have, not worried about what you don’t have; give and receive money willingly and openly, knowing that it is all simply a ‘flow’ and doesn’t mean you are better or worse off than before; everyone is able, worthy and deserving to receive money.
Money is not evil, although people do some evil things with it, if you use your money consciously and give it love, then incredible things can come from it. Having money does not mean you are less spiritual: in fact, it helps, as you can spend more of your time on what nurtures you, and less time on making ends meet. Treat money as if it is a person, your friend, and you will attract more of it. Like how loving a person will attract more love in your life. Money is infinite: there is no shortage. Its paper and metal and numbers WE create it. Like everything on this earth, money is endless and limitless.
Friday night I went to a fundraiser (yes, more about money), for the Branch Foundation. A Halloween fancy dress party, for which P painted a Venetian mask on my face. It was a great party: I had a lot of fun, met a lot of people and met the founder of the Branch organisation. A few days before I had applied for a communications job with the Branch Foundation, but I didn’t get it.
Never mind, it’s not meant to be.
Money is not evil, although people do some evil things with it, if you use your money consciously and give it love, then incredible things can come from it. Having money does not mean you are less spiritual: in fact, it helps, as you can spend more of your time on what nurtures you, and less time on making ends meet. Treat money as if it is a person, your friend, and you will attract more of it. Like how loving a person will attract more love in your life. Money is infinite: there is no shortage. Its paper and metal and numbers WE create it. Like everything on this earth, money is endless and limitless.
Friday night I went to a fundraiser (yes, more about money), for the Branch Foundation. A Halloween fancy dress party, for which P painted a Venetian mask on my face. It was a great party: I had a lot of fun, met a lot of people and met the founder of the Branch organisation. A few days before I had applied for a communications job with the Branch Foundation, but I didn’t get it.
Never mind, it’s not meant to be.
Week 8: Jumping In.
Saturday I got up early and went to Pai with Y. Finally! I have been in Chiang Mai a total of 5 months and this is the first time I have made the three hour trip to the hippy capital of Northern Thailand. I wasn’t disappointed. The town itself, OK, tourists, scooters, tacky shops, hostels. What I expected. Although the food was amazing, we ate so much at the evening markets. We spent the first night in ‘Spirit Bar’ chatting to the bar men and playing jenga with them. It’s the countryside around that makes Pai what it is. The waterfall that I swam in, the canyon that we scrambled around and from where we watched the sunset, and the White Buddha overlooking everything, which we hiked to. All so beautiful and mountainous, a fantastic place to nurture one’s spirit. |
Monday I met up with H (who I had met during my ‘connecting’ week), and her friend C. They are setting up a community centre in Pai to help visitors to access events and activities going on in the area. They will cover meditation retreats to permaculture courses, volunteer opportunities to local tourism. I was immediately interested in this idea, having found it so difficult to find a volunteer opportunity that I am welcome at and that I don’t have to pay for. And I know I can help them with my tourism and volunteering background.
C manages ‘Ways of Change’, and lives with the Kayan people. Their tourism package at the moment sounds diabolical (C used the words ‘human zoo’), so she was very excited to hear that my background is in tourism. I told them I can write anything they want, and can help with anything to do with tourism. Their emphasis is on ‘mutual empowerment’ and ‘conscious tourism’, something which gives me shivers (in a good way). I am so excited to begin this and do something to actually help someone!
The second time I had this feeling this week was on Friday, when I spoke to L at the Free Bird Café. This organisation educates and empowers Burmese refugees to help them gain access to further education and employment. They do a lot of other things too, including running the vegetarian café and charity shop. L has asked me to help her improve and write content for her website. Yes yes yes!!!
The rest of the week I felt like I was ‘jumping in’- to a salsa class where I met loads of people, to a language exchange where I met a guy who may teach me some Thai, to a women’s circle at the Tantra Yoga school, to yoga with O’s (manifestation boy’s) brother T and his Japanese partner M. Since I got back from Pai I just felt like I wanted to make the most of being in Chiang Mai and get involved with everything.
C manages ‘Ways of Change’, and lives with the Kayan people. Their tourism package at the moment sounds diabolical (C used the words ‘human zoo’), so she was very excited to hear that my background is in tourism. I told them I can write anything they want, and can help with anything to do with tourism. Their emphasis is on ‘mutual empowerment’ and ‘conscious tourism’, something which gives me shivers (in a good way). I am so excited to begin this and do something to actually help someone!
The second time I had this feeling this week was on Friday, when I spoke to L at the Free Bird Café. This organisation educates and empowers Burmese refugees to help them gain access to further education and employment. They do a lot of other things too, including running the vegetarian café and charity shop. L has asked me to help her improve and write content for her website. Yes yes yes!!!
The rest of the week I felt like I was ‘jumping in’- to a salsa class where I met loads of people, to a language exchange where I met a guy who may teach me some Thai, to a women’s circle at the Tantra Yoga school, to yoga with O’s (manifestation boy’s) brother T and his Japanese partner M. Since I got back from Pai I just felt like I wanted to make the most of being in Chiang Mai and get involved with everything.
Week 9: Wow wow wow
Saturday: I met my soulmate.
But this week isn’t over yet.
To be continued…